1. |
Annually
04:14
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there was nothing that I could have said,
it was nothing words could prevent
at least that is what I've told myself
to quell the looming questions
year after year
no answers come
and I still stress out on
the memory of Christmas we spent silent
time spent together we took for granted
we hid in our corners and ignored the bullshit
we watched the kids play in their jolly bliss
and spent the night thinking about innocence
i'm making up moments inside of my head where I see
us happy like it was meant to be
but they're just pipe dreams
and I'm stuck somewhere between selfish
and a question still unanswered
it's only fear that's speaking back to me
year after year i just want you to be happy
as I over think everything about me annually
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2. |
Harper
04:41
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when you pointed your arrows at the moon
did you understand they'd come crashing down soon?
I know I lost my last chance of reaching you
and since i got the news I've been staring at the sky too
the one inside my room
suffered through in hopes that i'll begin to wax new
i've blocked out all the sun and danced under the moon
the night that never ended til the body had been moved
it's only been a year
it's still not something that I'm used to
because its hard to lose someone you love
and for the longest time
i've been carrying a quiver just like you
and i've tried to shoot the moon
i've tried to find the words to write
on countless nights
i've lost the times when life was precious
and now it's always ending
the reach of death is endless
thats why I have been restless and calling out sick
and i'm making worse my own habit
to think it will happen again
I can't keep fearing who will be up next
a cycle of second guessing
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3. |
No Words
02:05
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I never wanted to be that someone
to choke and let the bastard run
clouded by my own self doubt
after what my heart had found:
a fucking coward who could have been
so much more than he turned out
but instead he gained nothing
from covering so many mouths
and I'm still waiting to come from this wiser and strong
I fucking blame myself for not knowing this all along
and ennui prevents me
from growing out naiveté
I'll stay with this rage that has taught me how to hate
with all my heart
i'm still waiting to come from this wiser and strong
I never wanted to be that someone
I can't keep blaming myself
for not knowing who you were all along
I never wanted to be that someone
holding on for closure that won't come
I'm burdened by something I couldn't see
and now there's no words left in me
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4. |
||||
have I become so desolate inside?
I think about last year, it's always the reason when I get quiet
and start to feel alone when I get high with everyone
but suppress the urge to run
I'm writing this down, recording crimes
hurts to consider retracing the lines
reminded what being disarmed's like
i've dwelled all i can, circled my mind
not enough hours every night
to keep at bay the flickering pale light
Living preterite…I can't move past from wronged
Anticipating my next suffocating loss
i can't erase these things, i only age with them
and hope i will forget how this all happened
but I always believed in futures
It's something I can't help but sing along to
It's like we always wanted
to hold hands and watch the end
to find closure in compassion
and hope to love again
You let me in when I am missing
the only part of my life that has been consistent
I know you won't believe, but you taught me how to sing
I am so in love with you, there is heaven in everything you do
I'm not scared of tomorrow, I'm not scared of the future,
I'm not scared of the end with you.
(we pull through)
I still believe in futures
that's why I'll always race to you
It's something I can't help
but always sing along to
I'm delivering last year's last rites
showing I'm not desolate inside
and in the end with you I'll be just fine
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Mineva Manchester, Connecticut
Mineva is a band split between both central Connecticut and central Massaschusetts. Harmonic distortion is utilized with the intention of eliciting emotion and reaction, often in tandem with repeating and decaying echoes.
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